


You're the biggest and the brightest that this place has ever made

by gravityplant



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Based on Maisie Peters song Architecture, Fluff, Heartbreak, M/M, Songfic, Summer Fling, Summer Vacation, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-19 20:08:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20215546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gravityplant/pseuds/gravityplant
Summary: It doesn't take long before he’s traipsing in though, shirt thrown on haphazardly and pyjamas pants hanging dangerously low on his hips. His hair is nevertheless messy and carbon black but he's still just as good-looking. Dan can't describe just what it is, Phil's got a unique raw beauty about him. Something that can't be copied.Or in which Phil is just a summer fling Dan’s fallen in love with and he can't ask Phil to stay.





	You're the biggest and the brightest that this place has ever made

**Author's Note:**

> Note: This story is based on Maisie Peters song Architecture, there's a lot of references to the lyrics in the fic.
> 
> Beta: phuzzyphan, thank you so much for beta-ing ❤️

The foggy morning air smells of coffee. In the soft breeze slinking in through the open backdoor, the faint sound of birds is heard, like a reminder to wake up before it's far too late.

A fleeting moment Dan forgets to breathe. As if he's still surprised to find him next. And maybe in one way he is. He can feel the warmth from him laying like a cape draped over Dan's body. Protective.

Dan opens his mouth, yawning gently, looking over at Phil's sleeping form. It's still summer, and it's intrinsically far too hot to sleep together under a duvet- however, that hasn't hindered them.

Even though this is the best summer he's ever had, he's sensing it ebb out. Not just the summer itself but what they have. Dan is nigh mourning before something's even happened. But he swears he can feel it in the air. It's not just an anxiety... right?

Phil moves, hugging Dan to his chest. For a moment Dan contemplates ignoring that doleful feeling and just let himself have what he can of their fugacious desire before time inevitably runs out. Not that it's just lust for Dan. No, he'd argue there's something more. Not that Phil would listen.

Phil moves his hand over Dan's chest, his large fingers slaying out, following the shapes of Dan, he sighs contently into the nape of Dan's neck.

Dan winces gently, not prepared. Phil presses his warm lips against Dan's nape. He exhales against the skin as he begins speaking, his voice husky "morning, you hungry?" he mumbles.

Dan closes his eyes breathing in silently, scrunching up his face. Then he bites his lip admonishingly. He's not gonna weep because of silly emotions such as these, they are nothing to Phil. What Dan feels mean nothing to Phil. He may as well be a useless construction drawing made by an amateur and scrapped but somehow found by Phil as he was drifting through the wind, forgotten and unwanted.

Dan sits up hastily, he shakes his head "not really, I'll make you some coffee, yeah?" Phil seems to react to Dan's sudden movements his tired face forcing a frown to settle on his forehead. Phil mumbles "are you sure you don't want me to follow with so we can have breakfast together?"

Dan forces a grin. "Yes I'm sure, you goof, you'd probably just break something." He wishes he didn't need space, he likes mornings with Phil, hell he likes everything with Phil. So much so that he can hear his own mind whispering  _ Dangerous _ .

So he tries to get used to being by himself progressively so that when the tear eventually happens he's not gonna feel the total absence of Phil with every breath he can catch.

Big emphasis on  _ tries _ . But he tells himself it'll hurt more once Phil's gone.

Phil looks up at him with his big blue eyes "I'll miss you" he pouts and Dan's heart breaks just a little more.

-

He ends up sitting cross-legged in Phil's mum's kitchen, taking a breather while the coffee is brewing.

It doesn't take long before he’s traipsing in though, shirt thrown on haphazardly and pyjamas pants hanging dangerously low on his hips. His hair is nevertheless messy and carbon black but he's still just as good-looking. Dan can't describe just what it is, Phil's got a unique raw beauty about him. Something that can't be copied.

He came even though Dan told him he'd make coffee for him. He stays quiet and Phil nods as he traipses in over the floorboards. Dan doesn't know whether to dislike it or adore it. He reckons he's still a bit too tired to preponderate any of the views.

Dan closes his eyes, leaning his head against his arms splayed out on the table. He can hear Phil signing something, well more like humming the melody. It's sort of familiar yet far-off in a way that discerns he knows for sure that he's lost in his own train of thought.

Phil puts down the cup before Dan, he opens his eyes peering up at Phil, smiling carefully. He's got a precious smile painted upon his face as he utters:

"They said it'll be unbearably hot today and as you know today is only today so whatcha saying about taking our bikes around town?"

Dan's face cracks into a reluctant smile. It's hard to feel himself blossom up from the inside at the words of this man before him. Especially when he knows that soon such feelings aren't gonna be wanted anymore. Yet he can't help but feel warmth swelling in his chest, it's a bittersweet feeling. Like savouring candy knowing it's the last you'll ever taste.

He likes the way Phil thinks. Not only about the weather forecast, it's as if he knows that this summer won't last.

-

Dan can feel the wind ruffle through his hair, it's a particularly warm breeze that's kind on the skin where the sun isn't. Dan looks past the flattened fringe ahead where Phil is half standing on his bike, bum lifted from the cushioned saddle.

He breathes in closing his eyes for a second. He can see himself rushing in through the door of his own house, up the stairs. Scrambling to find his flatteners. He said he wouldn't be long. But as he enters his room catching a glimpse of the polaroid photo on his bedside table he freezes.

Dan semi opens his eyes, peering at Phil. Watching with vast fascination how the buttoned-down Hawaiian shirt flickers in the wind. How his shorts hug his bum in a way that makes Dan want to reach out and cup it, pull Phil near to ensure himself that Phil won't leave him. He closes his eyes for a moment again.

He can see himself grip the photo in his hands firmly. Tugging harshly, seeing tears welling up in his own eyes as the photo of them rips in half.

Phil took it with his stupid polaroid camera. It ideates Dan who's fallen asleep on Phil's chest. In the corner of the photo his silly face is smiling, tongue poking out. Dan wishes Phil wasn't this nice. He wishes he was horrible and mean. But Phil's too lovely to be true... and it's a stupid photo that never should've existed.

Dan rips it into little pieces.

He opens his eyes, reaching his hand into his pocket bringing it out into the daylight. He looks down onto the small shreds. It's not like Phil will notice that it's gone. Not like he will care soon either. He takes a deep breath, throwing them to the wind like ashes.

"I love you"

He feels stupid the instant he says it. It's not like he's used to whispering secrets to the wind, but some things are meant to be kept confined.

Phil will go and Dan will know that he owes Phil all the love he showed Dan he deserved. Phil built him up like architecture, made sense of him when no one else could. When other people said that he needs refining Phil showed him the gold that he was worth.

And he'd let Phil break his heart, he knows it'll inevitably happen. Because no one knows Dan better than Phil. He's mapped out every inch of Dan's skin, seen places no one's seen, followed the architecture of him with lips upon Dan's skin.

This is a battle he won't win.

-

He sits slumped over on the grey bench. Phil gazes at him discreetly, he's biting his lips, eyebrows furrowed. Dan won't meet his gaze he's staring stubbornly at the stone floor in the station

Phil's bags are packed, they've been the whole week. Like an elephant in the room, taking up all the air to breathe making it feel suffocating to be there.

And Dan has wanted to say something the whole time, his words are stacked, forming towers of paperbacks, all of them filled with lines he won't say.

All he knows is that he won't be following with. They used to plan out their future, dreams that never would occur. But now this train ticket takes Dan's breath with it.

And Phil's the biggest and the brightest that this godforsaken place had ever made and Dan can't ask him to stay.

-

They stand in front of each other and Phil's eyes are big and blue, his lips trembling faintly as he tries to smile. It looks broken on his face, all askant like it doesn't belong on such a pretty face. He's wearing that big, bulky autumn jacket, hiding himself away from Dan's touch. Not that Phil's Dan's to have anymore.

Phil steps closer and Dan still doesn't meet his eyes. He's got his hands stuffed in the black windbreaker. Dan's always known Phil was borrowed and now Dan's blue and bleak. Like the dark ocean itself. Swallowing all happiness. That's why Dan belongs here and Phil doesn't. He's just as much of a soul-sucker as this town, and Phil... he's something entirely different. The burning sun after a long night, a lump of sugar sweetening your coffee, he's all that Dan can never bring.

And nobody new could be better than him.

Phil wraps his arms around Dan but Dan keeps his eyes opened staring into the material of Phil's jacket fighting away the tears clinging to his lashes. They stand there and it's almost like time has stopped. Like Dan's heart has made a stop. As if breathing has become something unimportant and the raw pound of his heart is the only thing that matters.

"I'm so sorry" Phil whispers, his voice sounds fragile as if it would break if Dan only just so much as took a breath. If he reminded Phil he's alive and well.

The words kind of ricochet, it feels like they should mean anything but Dan already knew. Instead, they sound kind of dull and meaningless.

Dan bites his lip his eyebrows furrowing he breathes in.

"I know"

-

Four years.

It's gone four years when a message from an unknown number dings from his phone. Dan discreetly reaches for it, his suit wrinkling in the process.

Sent: 13:23

From: Unknown number

_ Hi Dan _

_ I know it's been years and you're probably busy or you don't want to hear from me ever again (It's okay if that's the case) but I'd love to meet you this Friday as I'm coming down from London to Manchester this week. _

Dan swallows, it's clear who it is even if they didn't sign it. He looks over at the photo in the frame standing on his desk. It's a picture of Esme and him laughing taken by one of his annoying colleges at a business party.

Then he starts typing.

<strike> Hi, Phil, I'd love to meet up </strike>

<strike> It's been such a long time I've missed you dude </strike>

<strike> Coffee at Magentas? I've missed you </strike>

Sent: 13:44

From: Dan

Coffee at Magentas? Haven't seen you in ages

/Dan


End file.
